so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You ruined the universe
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
