Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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