I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
