So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
