I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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