dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
