We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
