please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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