I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
