he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
