So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
