I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
