Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
