I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
