her vagine was all disorganized.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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