I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
