Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
