I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
