We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
