he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
