Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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