now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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