hotel room ftw
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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