so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
