at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
