Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the day after is always just damage control
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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