Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
