You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
