how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
