she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
