but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
