Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
