The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
