Who did Billy Mays play for?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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