How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
