I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
