It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Randomize
