it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wish there were birth control emojis
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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