She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
