I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
