ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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