At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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