do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
