he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
