OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
