Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
