You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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