Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
