i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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