I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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