Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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