I'm so fucking centered right now
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
