Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
