Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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